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Busyness, information, hard work, reacting, pleasing, multi-tasking, fast-paced = Success, Money, Happiness, Free Time, and finally, Retirement.
Sound familiar? It is really a set of limiting beliefs. Things we have been taught since childhood that really don’t work. They are bad habits that ensure we never reach the ultimate goal and we don’t enjoy the journey towards it.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence or Failure are therefore not acts, but habits."
- Aristotle
How do I know this?
It
is no secret. It has been talked about, written about and explained by
people for hundreds of years. I’ll demonstrate as you read this - you
may get tired of hearing from these historical figures. They knew the
truth, but few listened. And that’s good in way - less competition at
the top.
A better set of words:
Purpose
(Busyness), Transformation(Information), Creative (Hard work),
Proactive(Reactive), Serving (Pleasing), Focused (multitasking), Slow
down(Fast paced)= Success, Money, Happiness every day, More Free Time,
Don’t want to Retire.
This
is no warm and fuzzy, psychobabble - this is the truth. And these are
truths that will set you free and ensure success if you know your
PURPOSE and are focused on SERVING.
"The
only certain means of success is to render more and better service than
is expected of you, no matter what your task may be."
- Og Mandino, author
Purpose
We
all know what we do and how we do it. We need to add to that WHY we do
it - a core purpose - something that is exciting and something we can be
passionate about. Think about the old phrase - doing something ON
PURPOSE. This purpose will provide the path we will follow that will
allow us to prioritize and focus proactively on the Right Things and
Actions every day. A deeper reason for showing up, something we are
passionate about. (Hint: it is serving and helping people in some way).
Focus
The
sun shines on everything and warms it to a livable level for life to
thrive on this planet. It’s nice, it’s pleasing. The Sun is you,
pleasing and unfocused, warming everything all day. The emails, the
phone, the knocks on the door, the answer to questions, solving
problems, the request to please others, are you, shining on everything.
But at the end of the day there is no fire. No results, no forward
movement. No fire, no results, no serving, just pleasing.
How
do you get fire? You use a magnifying glass and focus the rays of the
sun on a dry leaf. That is focus, it gets results, it lights the fire,
that’s letting the sun’s rays serve. “Anything we focus on grows.”
“Winners focus, losers spray.”
Show me someone’s calendar and I can tell you how successful they are and will be.
You look for the activities that are SERVING people. Money
and success and happiness come from serving. All day long most of us focus on
pleasing other people. Employees, customers, friends, everyone. We have been
taught since childhood to please people. Say thank you, smile and buy them
lunch, answer their email immediately, stop what we are doing to talk to
someone that enters our office, answer that phone call now, say yes to every demand,
be busy, busy , busy trying to please everyone.
Service and serving are where
success, happiness and money are made. Find someone who has a problem and serve
them by helping them solve it and teach them to solve it in the future. Serve
them, employees, customers, vendors, friends , family , people. Serve don’t
please.
"It is literally true that you can suceed best and quickest by helping others to succeed."
- Napolean Hill, author
Marketing and Sales
We have always been taught that we need to get our name out
there and GET prospects to know, and like us. People buy from people they like is the old slogan. In other words,
please them in some way. No wonder we “hate” selling. We believe it is all
about Getting people to like us - Pleasing. When we hate something we
automatically put it into the procrastination file. I know I need to make those
calls and I need money, I need to GET some new customers. It is the difference
between get and give. Desperation vs. doing something on purpose, serving
someone in way that keeps us on the path of our core purpose.
Serving is different, we are not focused on getting someone
to like us, we are focused on serving them first and getting them to trust us.
If
you are pleasing you enter into a conversation with a prospect and begin
thinking “I need to GET this person to be my customer”. Pressure sets in, desperation, what can I say
that will PLEASE them, run through the benefits, talk about me and what we do to
Get them to see our value. Smile, take them to lunch. Get them to like you!
"If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re
scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere."
- Zig Ziglar
"You can make more
friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in
two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
-Dale Carnegie
Now let’s look at the world of GIVING, of SERVING.
Now we are thinking how can I SERVE this person? I ask them
to tell me about themselves and their company. Everything is great. But I know
they must have something that is troubling. I ask what keeps them up at night?
What great challenge do they have presently? Because if I can solve it for them
I have truly SERVED. By SERVING first, I have demonstrated my value, not just
talked about it. I have built trust because I’m not selling, I am serving
first.
Great, effective marketing works the same way. Note their
pain and problems, offer free information or a service that can solve it and
then over time continue to provide information that SERVES them and helps them
solve their problems. (TIPS that nurture
trust).
Most marketing today is an attempt at PLEASING - it is all about us and what we do and how we
do it. Look at landing pages on websites – they all start talking about them,
how long they have been in business what and how they do what they do. They give coupons, discounts, funny ads, anything
to GET their "name out there" and GET some new customers by getting them to like
them.
To make your marketing effective start asking and talking
about their pain and problems and then offer solutions that SERVE and
demonstrate your value. You will have prospects trusting and buying from you.
SERVING makes you and your company REMARKABLE – meaning people will remark
about you, right? Word of mouth, referrals are the # 1 source of new customers
for all businesses. And I might add
people who refer are doing what? SERVING both you and the person they tell
about you.
Serving is the only way to build a great customer base of
ideal customers.
Employees
"The great leader speaks little. He never speaks carelessly. He works without self-interest. And he leaves no trace. When all is finished, the people say, 'We did it ourselves'. "
- Lao-tzu from the ‘Tao Te Ching’
Do you spend your day PLEASING your employees or SERVING
them.
The scenario most commonly observed is one of PLEASING. Open
door policy, expectations, managing, more money to motivate, being the “answer
man”, doing things for them, training on the fly, no goals, no purpose, no
alignment, etc.
This all results in disappointment, lack of accountability
and little trust.
"People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals - that is, goals that do not inspire them."
- Tony Robbins
"Give
me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history.
Give me a man with no goals and I'll give you a stock clerk."
- JC Penney Businessman
The best companies, the real winners, are places where the
owner is SERVING the employees. By the opposite of the above. SERVING the employees with Weekly Scheduled
focused one on one Coaching Conversations (not yearly reviews, open door ),
understanding their problems and coaching (answering their questions on the
fly, in the middle of the battle), understanding their dreams and helping them
reach them, coaching - not managing, Agreements not Expectations, alignment
with goals and purpose. Provide them
with focused coaching to ensure they believe they have mastery of their job, provide them with autonomy to be creative and a core purpose for coming to work every day. These are the 3 things
employees say ensure a place where they love to be and thus are able to SERVE
others all day .
Make sure they don’t come to you with problems
expecting you come up with the solutions
for them. Instead put a sign up that says "come to me only with solutions".
Give them feedback on their solution but help them grow, serve them, build
their confidence and skill set. Don’t please them by being the crutch and
allowing them to go through the day relying on you for all of the answers.
“Give someone a job
and they will work for your money, find people who believe what you believe and
they will give you their blood, sweat and tears.”
- Simon Sintek
You
“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”
- William S. Burroughs
Information can be detrimental . There is too much of it and
it grows every day. We can literally spend all day at the computer and waste
the day "learning". Information is only
valuable if it is transformational, if it convinces you to take ACTION. If it
changes the way you are living your life. Knowing is not enough. It is all in
the doing. Nothing happens without ACTION.
Action alone is not the answer of course. It has to be
action that is focused on your path, your purpose and is serving , instead of
pleasing.
An old Japanese Proverb
“Goals without Action
are dreams, Action without goals is chaos. “
For this information to be transformational , to change your
habits for the better, you must take action.
- Slow down – take some time and focus on your Core Purpose, your why you do what you do. Write it down. (Hint: it will have something to do with helping , serving.)
- Slow down - Write down your Vision of what, how and why of your life, your business, your career in 2020.
- Slow down – Write Goals for 2013 and the ACTIONS you need to take to accomplish them.
- Set up weekly 15 minute coaching Conversations with all direct reports- find ways to serve them. Be a coach not a manager. Think about the difference in what a football coach does and you as a manager of a team. He serves, you try to please.
- Set up and block one hour per day on your calendar to stop, think, focus on the actions above with one thing foremost in your mind how can I SERVE. No interruptions, no moving the appointment for anyone. No pleasing , serving. You will be serving yourself, your employees and your customers, and people in general. Over time you will form a habit and more and more of your day will be spent focused on serving, creating, passionate about your purpose and your future. The journey will the happiness not the destination. Money and success will come if you start to focus on SERVING.
"We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."
- Winston Churchill, British prime minister
Thanks to Steve Chandler, my coach for the
inspiration. If you want to learn more
buy his book Wealth Warrior.
Rick Wallace
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