The Future and My Dog

"If you want to be truly miserable get yourself a future."

- Byron Katie

 

Byron Katie is an author and international life coach. What the heck does she mean? I am a huge believer in setting goals and visions and building plans around them. My last few blog posts have been about planning. All of this is in your future.

She never made sense to me until the other day. I facilitate a mastermind group of women business owners. It has been a great experience for me and each of the women in the group. Recently we were reviewing their Destination Postcards for last year, the results they had achieved and what they want to happen in 2015. One member of the group was reviewing her 2014, was grading herself on her Rocks/Projects and goals, and she did pretty well, in fact really well. When she finished one of the other members said, "great job! ..... but you don't sound happy." She wasn't.

They discussed this and one of the ladies said, "I discovered a couple of years ago that the real happiness is inside me. I just had to get out of the way. Thinking about the future, and thinking that happiness was out there in the future when I achieved certain goals or got certain things... that was a lie. When we dwell on thoughts about future events and things that could happen, it is reality to us and when those thoughts are about failures or bad things, it blocks our happiness that is right now and always inside of us."

But nothing made of thought is real, or for that matter true.

We live in the feeling of our thinking, not the feeling of our circumstances.

Thoughts are our reality even though they are not always true. No one can predict the future, thus our thoughts about the future are never exactly true. We cannot predict the future but we can sure think about it and those thoughts are our reality. The more we let those thoughts hang around and mull over them, try to control them, repress the bad ones and think positive ones the more unhappy we feel right now.

The other day I was working with the person above and we explored why she wasn't happy. She explained that she constantly was thinking about serving her clients. She was always thinking about how they would be let down if she didn't get things done for them on time, penalties, loss of money, etc.

So I went back to Byron Katie and said "if you want to be miserable get yourself a future." I then suggested she stop for a moment and ask herself, "Are those thoughts true? Will any of that really happen? Will you let that happen?" Of course she won't. Why? Because she will do the things right now in the moment that will ensure they won't. She will be creating the future by doing the things that will serve her clients.

In other words, let those bad thoughts about the future flow on through your mind and get to doing the things right now that will create the future you want. The state of happiness is inside you - you and every living animal were born with it. Happiness does not come from the outside, it comes from the inside.

Bad thoughts simply take over and create unhappy feelings.

I cannot explain this concept - that thoughts are our reality and thus can block us from being happy -- in a short blog post, but I can explain what Byron Katie meant by the future.

Happiness, success and joy are in the present, right now, in this moment. They are not in the future. It is the project or action you are focusing on right now that will create your future. Be in the moment. How many times have we heard that in our lives? Let the thoughts of the future simply flow through your mind, catch yourself when you let one get stuck in there and ask yourself, "is it true"? Then let it move on and get back in the present. Doing, taking action, creating the future you want.

Only in the present can you be happy.

So true happiness is always inside you and you can only be happy in the journey, never in the destination.

"If you want to be miserable find yourself a future". If you want to experience happiness, focus on the present and on the actions/projects that will create the future you want to have.

Oh yeah, my dog!

Quick example: The other night I was sitting on the coach watching TV and petting my dog. Now that is happiness huh? I begin to think about how old he is and how he probably only has a few years more to live. I started "feeling sad" and my thoughts began to run on about this dog's death, how it would happen and what I would do, etc. Then I caught myself - hey you have no idea when or how he will die or what you will do when he does - enjoy right now with him there beside you. Happy again. Because just like the dog, I was not thinking about the future I was enjoying the moment.  

Regards,
Rick