The Most Expensive Thing You Can Own

"The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge."

- Elbert Hubbard

Beliefs, common knowledge, fears, opinions are powerful forces in our lives. The problem with them all is we think they are facts and truths. We make decisions, choices, plans, actions, excuses, as if they are all facts. The secret? They are not all true and you have to start today to question them. 

Beliefs are ingrained in our minds from the day we are born. Let's take one belief that I think is one of the most damaging ones - pleasing people. We grew up being taught to please people. Our parents and all adults - be polite, do what you're told and you get a pat on the head and "good boy/girl".

As we grow we are supposed to please teachers, employers, customers, family, friends, co workers, etc.

It is probably the most damaging belief there is. Pleasing people robs us of time and energy and results in failure most of the time. So what is the alternative?

SERVING PEOPLE

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Secret : Serving people is one key to success." 

- Steve Chandler

Serving is powerful. Serving is truly helping people. It is lasting and remembered and it will free you up tremendously.

Here are some examples:

Sales

Pleasing 

This the good 'ole boy approach. Get them to like me, take them to lunch, build a relationship through saying and doing what they like and want. Being more likable than the competitor. People buy from people they like right? No, they buy from people they trust.

Serving 

This is listening to their story, their pains and problems, and then focusing on those like a laser and solving them with the best solution (not necessarily the one they think they want). Serving is focusing on the problems. Yes you have to be personable, but the focus should be on serving by solving their problems, not on getting the person to like you.

Time

Whether you own a business or work for someone else we all "don't have enough time" to get everything on our plate done. We are accountable for being busy - not getting results. Why?

Pleasing

We cannot manage time, we can only manage what we do with our time. Thus, we must quit trying to please everyone - by always saying YES to everyone's requests. Everyone - customers, employees, coworkers, the school, invitations to events, clubs, charity, etc.

We only have so much time you cannot do it all with focus and quality.

Serving

"Saying no may be uncomfortable for a few minutes or maybe an hour but saying yes can affect you for weeks, months and sometimes years."

- Dave Allen

       

To do your best work, to get the results you need and want, and to live the life you want, you must learn to serve by saying NO. Say no to things you do not have time to do right and that steal time away from allowing you to reach your goals (both personal and work related).  Learn to say no politely and start to serve yourself and others by saying yes to those things that you can focus on and do correctly, and that will further your career and life.

"Management" /Ownership

Pleasing

You cannot manage people but we have always been told we should and could. Managing is making sure everyone is comfortable and stable. Please them by providing guidance on the job, what you want them to do next, what they need to do now, and keeping things stable and consistent. Reacting all day long, putting out fires for the team, taking the hard jobs on, reacting all day in support of the company. Don't let them in on the numbers and strategy - they don't care and won't understand. Money is the main motivator that will please them. Don't give them personal goals - they will reject it. Give them a review once a year.

By answering questions for everyone - you are not serving them. They learn nothing and never develop their skills or how to make decisions. Serving them by having them come to you with their solution will, over time mean they interrupt you less and less and they will get better at what they do, and happier and more fulfilled doing it. 

Serving

Be a coach. Think and act like an NFL coach. Engage them with the why we do what we do.  The core values, team goals, personal goals - practice to get better, share everything. People want and crave feedback so give it freely in weekly one on one coaching conversations (practice). Make sure you have the best people in every slot , A Players want to work with other A Players. Having C Players on your team is poison and your good people will leave if they see you not addressing the issues.

Serving by coaching will build trust and a great team that is engaged and happy to come to work.

I challenge you to begin today. Question all your beliefs as you make decisions, plan, choose, make an excuse, etc - are they true?

"The most expensive thing a person can own is a closed mind."

- Don Hutton